Friday, January 28, 2005

A Fairy Tale for the Digitally Challenged

I've just spent the last hour and a half shopping online for digital cameras. I think my big little head is going to burst. Pesky customer reviews. Just when you think you've nailed the one, some disgruntled user writes "Took louzy pictures of my faverit bar cant even see the bartenders face broke the first time i dropped it crap". Honestly, how's a girl to know who to trust those priceless memories to? Here's how I think it should go down:

Friendly, intelligent, but not too friendly and intelligent salesfellow:
Now, just relax and tell me what it is that you're looking for.
mumble mumble ultra-portable mumble mumble 4MP mumble mumble
Ah yes. I believe we have exactly what you're looking for over here. [Removes gold Wonka Bar wrapper from camera]. She'll make all your dreams come true--and capture each one for all high resolution eternity. [Winks and vanishes--but not before holding my hand through the mind-boggling maze of accessories].

And now I shall let my weary head find solace in a few daily Mad Libs (a "few" because I have 24 days to catch up on)...

"'Music is the soul of the snowball in Hell,' said Pluto. 'Music is music is music,' said rap noggin I.B. Cool. These two wet 'n wild philosophers were right on! When the beat is right, who among us hasn't felt the sparse urge to snap his/her dangerous curves, stomp his/her tree trunk legs, or break out in a wiley chuckle?" January 3

"Ballet companies are springing up like pit stains all over the country. Ballet is a form of dance in which male and female hula dancers tell a story through movement of their arms and ingrown hairs to supple music. Two of the best-known ballets are 'Earwig Lake' and 'Gettin' Jiggy Beauty'." January 27

Well, time to go fill out my parts of speech for tomorrow's hidden Mad Libs (and live happily ever after)...

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